Ronald Schueller, convicted of attempting to hire someone to knock his estranged wife unconscious and kidnap her, said (according to prosecutors) that he was just trying to reconcile with her, based on an idea from a "Dr. Phil" TV segment in which the host said that sometimes people need a good scare to realize their delusions (Port Washington, Wis., August). [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 8-9-05]

Jessica Stakelbeck, 22, charged with neglect when two of her diaper-clad toddlers were found on the side of a highway, blamed her lapse not on being high from her admitted methamphetamine habit but on sleepiness from missing her meth for several days (Franklin, Ind, August). [Johnson County Daily Journal, 8-4-05]

I love the excuses whacked-out people come up with.

I try not to use smilies too often, since they can be kind of… um… 12 year old-ish… but I think I need to use one for this occasion.

I have a room!

Yes… that's right, after going through the reality-show/sorority rush of searching Craigslist, open houses, and potential roommates who informed me they frequently ran around naked, I finally have a place to live! Without divulging too much information on its location, I can safely say that it's about 5 minutes to the Ballston Metro on foot and about 20 minutes or so to work. I can also bike there fairly easily, but it will be tricky. Fairfax Dr. does have a bike lane, but that's not always a guarantee that you won't get run down by some errant construction vehicle or doored by someone getting out of their car.

Slightly bad news on Cody, though - yesterday, I went down to ride, and he had pulled off his right front shoe along with about a quarter of his hoof. Ew. And, for some reason, I couldn't find the damn thing anywhere in his paddock. (Somehow it managed to find its way into Cygnet's stall - I have no idea *how*, since he obviously lost it outside. Odd.)

The farrier managed to carefully nail another one on and patch over the missing chunk of hoof, but we'll have to be careful that he doesn't go out in really deep mud. It was really alarming at first, but turned out OK. Even better, Cody's pulled muscle/mystery lameness has ceased, and he was sound yesterday when I rode. Most excellent.

Okay, lots of work to do, so I must get back to it.

About 10 minutes ago, I had a mini heart attack as the fire alarm went off in the office. Having not been subject to the screaming wail of a pulled fire alarm for about 4 months (last time was at school - some schmuck pulled the Hansen fire alarm at 3 AM), it definitely wasn't music to my ears.

Anyway, after several of us picked ourselves off the floor, we looked around confusedly. "Um… now what? Oh yeah, go outside." We do what's natural - pick up our laptops, and scurry down the stairs. I, being the smart one, left the important stuff like my wallet, sunglasses, and cell phone behind. Duh.

To our delight, we were still able to access the WiFi in our office from the parking lot:

Notice my squinty look from lack of eye protection.

Fortunately, the fire department arrived 15 minutes later, the building did not burn down, and we trudged back upstairs when they gave us the all-clear.

Just another day…

I swore I wouldn't write another rant for at least a week, but this time I couldn't help it.

Latest Metro irk: People with those retarded "rolling backpacks" or "rolling briefcases." Basically, they're teeny tiny suitcases with a retractable handle, and look pretty ridiculous, especially if you've got the gall to wheel them on to Metro during rush hour.

I see third graders pulling their pink and yellow Barbie-adorned ones to the bus stop. Grown women pull them while wearing shoulder padded buisness suits with white high tops. (Gag - please, at least buy a pair of sneakers that sort of blend in well, not the ones you'd see adorning a geriatric ward nurse's feet.) Anyway, for all I know, people could be hauling around 50 lbs of papers, books, laptops (well, not for the 3rd grader, I hope), and for that I can understand at least somewhat.

But seriously, those handy little suitcases on wheels take up as much space as a 5 year old toddler, and how many work people do you see hauling around a kid with them to work? Not many. In fact, if most people did, they'd have to start putting together 8-car long Metro trains, because there simply wouldn't be room.

So, mini-suitcase people… pick it up, carry it with you on the escalator and don't let it sit on the stair behind you. If you can't muster up the strength to do that, take the elevator. And on the train, please at least put it between your feet or something, because there's nothing worse than nailing my shin on one of those suckers.

/end rant.

Over the last month, I've experienced the worst luck (or just bad karma). I lost about 5 different rooms in places (either due to people being bad about getting back to me, or miscommunication, or just general idiocy), my horse decided to pull a muscle so I can't ride, I'm driving around with the entire contents of my closet in the back of my car, gas prices are through the roof and my two bikes are locked up in storage, etc.

Last night I tried to ride Cody, who apparently has not recovered from his pulled muscle but still felt good enough to pee in the aisle… AGAIN. As I was putting away my tack upstairs in the hay loft, I noticed a bird flying around that must have gotten in through the huge open window. Maestro, one of the barn cats, was on top of the hay bales and literally did backflips to try and catch the bird as it flew overhead.

Anyway, as I'm tidying up my stuff, what felt like a drop of water landed on my head. Wait… it's not raining… I look up, and realize the damn bird SHIT ON MY HEAD!

F-ing a. What a horrendous month.