I never wanted to blog about this, but a certain incident has now occurred two times and is now worth posting. Every day, I bring the following items for snack/lunch/snack at work (or a slight variation thereof): applesauce, yogurt, carrot sticks, pretzels, Diet Coke/Pepsi (whatever's on sale), and two gala apples. Sometimes the yogurt is replaced by leftovers or a sandwich or what have you. But the one item that I never fail to bring is my cherished mid-day caffeine boost (aka diet cola).

I should mention that EchoDitto is currently renting office space downtown, so we share this huge floor with whole bunch of other companies/individuals/loud people.

A few weeks ago, on an ordinary Thursday afternoon, I went to the "Village Green" (gag) fridge to get my lunch. I grabbed my yogurt and carrots, but left the soda behind. About 20 minutes later, I returned to find my Diet Pepsi missing. Okayyy… I just saw it 20 minutes ago when I got my lunch. Did it grow legs and walk off? No. Did someone move it from the spacious door shelf to another part of the fridge? No. My can of cola had been pilfered.

I was livid. It would have been one thing if there were 20 other cans of cola sitting in the fridge and I wouldn't have noticed if someone had accidentally taken my Pepsi and left their Coke, but no, there was only one other lonely can of regular Coca-cola. What the hell? We share this office space with what feels like hundreds of other people, and someone had to decide to be cheap and take my Pepsi rather than put $0.75 in the soda machine 2 feet away.

Always being one to make a statement, I scribbled the following message on a post-it note and stuck it to the fridge door: "To the person who took my can of Diet Pepsi: GET YOUR OWN!" It stayed up for a few hours before one of the Regus Nazis (office space leasers) took it down.

Anyway, a few weeks passed and there was no further soda larceny. Until today. I went to the fridge and found that the can of Diet Pepsi I had placed there a few hours before had gone missing. Again. Fortunately, I had an extra can from Monday that I forgot to drink and imbibed that instead. Still, this makes me think: Why the hell would someone want to take my soda, other than the fact they forgot to bring change for the machine? Are people that desperate for caffeine? Or are they just idiots that don't realize that the can of Pepsi they took from the fridge really belonged to someone else? That, or they're just delusional and thought it was up for grabs.

From now on, I fear I'm going to have to write my name on every can I put in that fridge. Either that, I'll have to suck it up and drink it at room temperature.

- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony and our greedy consumer economy.

- The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

- A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

- Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

- Alcohol and addictive pharmaceuticals are good because big corporations make money, while marijuana is relegated to the black market since it is a free gift from God where excess profits are not possible.

- A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

- The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

- Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity).

- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

- Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

…you browse the Starbucks menu online so you can order right away when you get there.

Okay, that doesn't sound TOO nerdy. But honestly, I'm probably the most indecisive person ever (you should have seen me at a Girl Scout cookie sale: "I'll take Thin Mints. No, wait, I think I want Samoas… ehhh, no, I want Tagalongs." etc., etc., etc.), so every time I actually venture into Starbucks, I end up standing there for 10 minutes trying to figure out what I want. In the meantime, the baristas are getting impatient, I'm debating whether to splurge and buy a muffin along with whatever hot drink I get, and it always ends up being a 20 minute ordeal.

Then again, I try to avoid Starbucks whenever possible, as they rip off the public by charging ridiculous fees for their wireless internet. Seriously, you'd think a company that makes $1.6 billion a year could stop being so stingy and just make it $1 an hour, or even free.