Wow… blog is sloooowwww lately. I'm not sure if it's godaddy's fault for having cheapo servers, or the database is just downright clogged with WP queries.

Lately I've been horse shopping online with the anticipation of not having a horse come April, when my lease on Cass ends. I've decided I have a love/hate relationship with horse shopping, much like my love/hate relationship with Target. I love Target because you can pretty much buy ANYTHING there, but I hate it because there are too many choices and/or what I want isn't on the shelves. I end up walking out of there happy but absolutely exhausted from the effort. For example, the humidifier I wanted to buy for my room - not in stock. I spent about 20 minutes looking at facial cleansers because there are about 200 types available. Too much yet not enough.

Yesterday I saw this guy on CANTER Mid-Atlantic's site. Ooooh, purdy. I'd take him, but here's what's preventing me from picking up the phone and calling the trainer:
1) My eye for conformation is crappy, so he could have some major faults that I'm aware of,
and
2) He's right off the track, something I've never done before (buying a horse straight from the track) and THAT is what the killer is. I cannot do it. I don't trust myself.

I'm so afraid that I'm going to end up with another horse that's going to fall apart on me that I can't buy anything. My trainer is in FL, so I don't have her to come hold my hand, and poor Allie has been the victim of my incessant "What about this guy?" and "I can't doooo thissss!!!" gchat IMs. Seriously. I'd rather hide my head in the sand because no one's around to help and reassure me that I'm doing the right thing.

I'm always trying to do the right thing, and at this point it's nearly crippling me. I can't afford to make another mistake.